A Proficient Maid
by Silicon Girl
Summary: Humorous slash with some sad stuff at the end. My summaries bite my writing's pretty good cough All belongs to JRRT


It was Haldir's nature to go wandering the thickly embedded forest of Lothlorien, armed and ready even when the Captain of the Galadrim was not on duty. The elf felt a distinct unrest in his soul ever since the Fellowship had shown up on his country's borders a few nights ago. In fact the feeling had been mounting some months before that. He had gone to his Lady on the topic and Galadriel had turned it away as nerves. Haldir apparently needed to relax more often. She knew of course Haldir's problems had nothing to do with nerves, the elf managed stress well as being the leader of one of the finest military forces in Middle-earth. It was the resurfacing of the One Ring that lead him to this. She'd observed the Captain since he'd been an elfling, and had reached the conclusion that like most elves he was simply a stronger version of an empath, though this quality was tied in with an old prophecy regarding and Elf Lord and a Son of Gondor. Galadriel could not tell him this, she couldn't even relay it psychically. Any mention of the One Ring that had launched his prophecy into swing could announce it to all of Middle-earth where the Ring lay. She felt a certain pain that such a tiny band of gold would be the ultimate reason Haldir would eventually come to a great pain. The Queen turned away finally from watching him make these 'relaxing' rounds, the elvish magic to conceal her dissipating as she passed among the silver mallorn trees head bowed in thought.

Haldir, tuned to every noise cocked his head in her direction though Galadriel was already gone. The elf let a sharp sigh out, silver-blue eyes blinking in the natural mist that hung around the ground floor of his homeland. There were more footsteps; human from their lack of care and heaviness. Let's see, he thought to himself, thick leather boots, more armor than brains I'll bet its that haughty Steward's son... "Boromir," he breathed with a certain air of contempt. It was common knowledge that Haldir had been very opposed to letting the Halfling and the One Ring pass through their lands. The knowledge of it was unspoken, as was his arrogance towards mortals. It was true that he held deep respect for Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, but it was this Boromir character that bothered him most contemptuously. He found it sweet irony that the son of the Gondorian Steward and the true king also known as Ellessar would travel under the same party.

The ruddy soldier looked up from his thoughts, which obviously had been most distracting since he hadn't taken in the beauty that stood before him. A laugh broke out of his full lips after a few seconds. "Eru be Haldir, I thought it twas a maiden standing there!" His hand shielded by a gauntlet carrying the silver emblem of Minas Tirith went over his mouth trying to stifle his laughter as those cold eyes attempted to stare him down.

"And I thought a great bore was passing through my forest. And my assumptions were correct, I suppose the only thing to do now is put an arrow through its guts," Haldir rebuked harshly. He was unique in the respect that most elves did not converse that vulgarly, or give illusion to unnecessary violence. Boromir liked that quality in him, even if for all intensive purposes the elf seemed disgusted by him. Haldir held his long bow, delicate hands draped over the top with the end stuck in the pure Lothlorien soil. It seemed he leaned on it, light enough that the thing would not snap in his hands. "What is your business wandering around Boromir? I knew I should not have been idle this night, of all nights." It seemed Haldir had not quite warmed to the Fellowship yet.

"What is your bitterness Haldir?"

"Don't be forward with me Gondorian."

"Is that it? Because I'm human and from Gondor? I can think of far better reasons to dislike me."

"I'm sure this is true. I hold no prejudices sir, I hold the utmost respect for the shaft of the king."

At this another laugh had to emit from Boromir, who didn't even bother to shield this one. Of course Haldir had meant the shaft and length of Aragorn's sword, referencing he respected his fighting skills and position in life and all that. But the Gondorian had taken it entirely the wrong way, which Haldir was just catching onto. Chagrined he swallowed and rolled his eyes. "I must say Haldir if that's how you measure a man, than I can match and on good days surpass Aragorn in both skills any day."

"And I'm sure you were trained by the entire Gondorian army," Haldir stated raising an eyebrow in amusement and obviously recovered from his embarrassment.

"Yes I've got to say harrowing the Wilds, Aragorn is rather self-taught."

"You would know this?"

"Indeed I would my good elf. I've fought with him and I must say it backs up my prior statement."

"You're right Boromir. You need a maid. Badly."

"Indeed; a maid proficient with a shaft. I saw you and another training."

"Pervert."

"Bitch."

And suddenly his fate became very clear. He would be bent over a mallorn log for a goodly part of the long cool Lothlorien night under a yellowing Mordor-stained moon. He would have one of his own arrows in places he had never considered before. He would have the arrow head broken off, building warm memories of Boromir amending this issue for him. He would awake in the human's arms with the warmth of his breath upon his neck. He would consequently warm considerably to the Fellowship, and suffer the greatest of losses when the month passed and they finally took their leave. The thought of Boromir returning when all was well in Minas Tirith would be the only thing to keep him going. And finally, Haldir would once again speak to Galadriel on the subject, who would stand tear stained by her pool that relayed most of her knowledge on prophecies and world events to her.

"The Falls Haldir," she would say, pale face tear stained.

He would look at her, a confused fearful look on his face. He would be quick enough to catch on, but not able. "They took him at the Falls defending two of the Halflings... He died a good death Haldir, it was worthy. And he did not die in vain," she would try to consol him with.

"The Halls then."

"What?" she would ask him of this, sensing what was coming.

"I will see him in the Halls of Eru then. I can feel it."


End file.
